Author: TT

  • Rachal’s Story

    Hi my name is Rachal and I AM a sober alcoholic. I’m here to share with you my experience, strength, and hope. The only reason I’m able to be on this side of the screen is because I was able to have a spiritual awakening and because of that it is my duty to share my story. 

    Now let’s start at the beginning… growing up I had endured mental, physical, and sexual abuse. I bottled everything up because I didn’t know how to tell anyone what I had been through. I had my first drink at 12 years old; Malibu rum. It was at that moment I realized that I loved alcohol. It made me feel relaxed.  After all that I went through growing up I finally found something that made everything seem so small; I deserved those drinks. After that day I started taking water bottles of Malibu to school. Growing up I thought I was hiding it well until I was at school and my teacher told me “you’re messed up go home”. I also thought my dad didn’t know about my drinking; however when I became an adult I asked him and he said “I knew I just didn’t care because I was drinking too”. My drinking got worse as the years went on and vodka became my choice of alcohol. I once promised myself “I’m never going to drink like my father”, well that was short lived… I now NEEDED to drink. Anytime I did anything I had to be drunk; I couldn’t fathom doing daily activities without drinking but that came with its own problems. I got kicked out of college for a semester, ruined relationships, crashed my car, was homeless, spent most nights praying over the toilet, and wondering how I got home when I woke up.

    I never thought I had a problem but I would tell myself I was going to slow down. The Big Book pg.30 says “The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker.” I thought I could control how much I drank. I’d only drink certain days, certain drinks, certain times but I couldn’t slow down no matter what but I also deep down didn’t want to slow down. Many people told me I needed to stop, so many people told me I had a problem, doctors were telling me that I wouldn’t make it long if I kept going like this but that didn’t stop me. 

    One day of many times I was going to kill myself I no longer wanted to go on this way so I went to church. That day Jan 19 a lady from my church who didn’t even know me told me I needed to stop drinking and give it all to God; how did she know I was struggling!? I told her that I am not going to get sober because I don’t want to and I don’t like people telling me what to do, especially someone who doesn’t even know me. That week on Jan 23 I called my preacher and told him I was ready to stop. I was told to reach out to a hotline or go onto the interweb. I had no clue what I was doing so I texted the hotline, they introduced me to AA which is something I never knew about. That night (although I was drunk) I went to my first online AA meeting. 

    First going into AA I didn’t think I was going to actually get sober. I couldn’t figure out why everyone seemed so happy.. I didn’t get why everyone was introducing themselves as an alcoholic as ‘I was not an alcoholic’. I questioned if I was in the right place. My first in-person meeting, everyone was so welcoming and made me “a part of the herd”. Everyone there shared with me as a newcomer and it was then that I realized these people knew me and understood me. It was also then when I realized I too am an alcoholic just like these people. I got a sponsor and started reading the Big Book once a week. That was the only time I touched my Big Book. I later learned “the Big Book is a textbook and textbooks are meant to be studied”. 

    Unfortunately relapse is a part of my story. I made it to 43 days sober before I relapsed. This is a result of not working the steps. I allowed the devil to persuade me into drinking. I didn’t want to drink but I didn’t think I had a choice. That’s why it is crucial to work the steps quickly yet thoroughly. 

    While I was out I drank more than I had ever drank. I called out of work for two weeks because I’d rather be drunk than to go to work. I became increasingly depressed and tried to end my life multiple times. I hid how much I was drinking from the family. I was drinking half gallons of vodka a day with beer in between drinks. My dad never said anything at the time and he let me do what I wanted to do… until he found out how much I was actually drinking and he confronted me about it. My dad would tell me “you smell like your grandfather” which is something no female would like to hear. I kept buying “one last bottle” daily and during this time I still periodically would attend online AA meetings. I found this online AA meeting one morning and I jumped into their meeting. That morning I broke down crying, talking to someone from there, and telling him how I so badly wanted to stop but couldn’t. He told me “keep coming back”. So that’s what I did for 4 days. I kept going back sharing ‘I have 8 hours sober’ then immediately would start drinking after I shared; next day do the same thing for 4 days straight.  I fought so hard to get sober but I kept buying that “last bottle”. 

    Finally after that 4th day by the grace of God I came back and was able to celebrate 24 hours; I stopped drinking April 29th. April 29th is such a significant day for me. It’s my brother’s birthday who passed away while I was a little girl.. he struggled with addiction and he ended up taking his own life. I believe that God allowed me to get sober on this day on purpose; it’s funny how God works. He knew I needed this day to be my sobriety date. I am honoring my brother by getting sober. I found myself another sponsor on day 22 (May 20th) and expected to work the steps. That yet again failed… I stayed on step 1 for multiple weeks due to lack of time. At this point I didn’t feel like I deserved sobriety… I questioned the power of God because why couldn’t I get sober like these people around me. 

    The Big Book pg. 52 says “When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God, our ideas did not work. But the God idea did.” 

    June 9th Day 41 this time around I was going to give it all away… that morning I sat in the gas station parking lot about to go in to get a few drinks, instead I drove home and immediately called some sober friends which helped me get through the day. That night I couldn’t deal with my home circumstances so I was driving around looking for a liquor store to be open. 

    Now here comes the miracle! A sober friend had called me and talked to me as I was looking for that liquor store. At the end of our conversation she asked “so are you ready to work the first 3 steps?”. I was hesitant at first. However, that night I worked the first 3 steps. Admitting I was powerless over alcohol that my life had become unmanageable, believing there is a power greater than myself that could restore me to sanity, and turning my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood him was so wholesome; something I’ll never forget! Speaking the third step prayer into existence made everything seem so real. I didn’t feel like I was drowning anymore. I fell in love with the Third Step Prayer and it made me closer with God so I’ll share it with you here; “God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always.” 

    Any time I am struggling I now pray this prayer. 

    June 10th at 2:45am I asked that same sober friend who worked the first 3 steps with me to be my sponsor and when can I start Step 4 (make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves). That day I received a new sponsor and I worked tirelessly, effectively, and thoroughly on my step 4. Asking her to be my sponsor that night saved my life. I knew if I went back out that night I wouldn’t  have made it back. Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful but God is by all means more powerful if you allow him to be. 

    Many people would describe working step 4 as “scary” but I’m here to tell you it was nothing but FREEING! I never knew putting my resentments on paper would mean so much. There’s things that were brought up that I had thought I forgot about. You want to know what was even more freeing; although tiring; step 5 (admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs). That alone took the weight I’ve been carrying for 20 years off my shoulders.

    At the end of step 5 you are to spend 1 hour alone with God. It was during that moment I got to experience this “spiritual awakening” everyone was talking about and I so desperately waited for. It’s something that I cannot explain to the full effect.  Everyone’s spiritual awakening is different but for me I got to hear God talk to me and him tell me what he wants for me. I got chills throughout my whole body and broke down crying pleading to God to allow me to forgive those who have hurt me, allow me to make amends to those I’ve hurt, allow me to give my fears to him, ask him to restore me to sanity, ask him to remove my shortcomings, and allow him to take the obsession of alcohol from me. I gave myself to God! I no longer have the obsession to drink! I’m able to handle situations which used to baffle me! 

    Working through Step 9 has been a freeing step as well. Being able to take my wrongs I have done to others and make amends to them all has too been freeing! In my opinion everything about this program is so freeing! This program was founded in 1935 by a couple of drunks and here we are a couple of drunks in 2025 STILL WORKING THE SAME PROGRAM! It does really work if you work it and it too can be freeing if you work it as the Big Book lays it out for us. 

    The rest is history! I am now living as God would want me to. Life has been so much more manageable since working the steps and turning my life over to the care of God. Yes there’s still going to be struggles but as the big book says that’s when you are to drop to your knees, give it to God, call a sober friend, and then go out and help another alcoholic. We are to live and breathe in God’s will; our sobriety depends on it. 

    My main focus in my life is to maintain sobriety and spiritual fitness. Which I can do by praying/meditating, reading the Big Book, living through Steps 10-12, talking to my sponsor, and helping other alcoholics. You too can experience a new life if you work these steps and apply them to your everyday life. You are worthy of recovery; we DO recover. 

    I’ll leave you with this… “Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.” BB pg. 89 

    Rachal

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  • Sponsorship

    A Vital Stepping Stone to Service & Sobriety

    The 91 delegates to the General Service Conference listened as the question was asked: “How many of you came to service in A.A. with the help of a sponsor?” Essentially, all 91 delegates raised their hands in assent. Past trustee Al H., of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada vividly remembers that moment in 1978. “We sponsor as we have been sponsored,” he says. “I was taken to my first service meeting barely three months after I became sober and I’ve been active ever since.” Like so many members, Al early absorbed the miracle of Twelfth-Step work-that sharing the A.A. message with other alcoholics helps to keep us sober. Thanks to alert sponsorship, he then learned how such one-on-one help in the Fellowship can be stretched to include an ever widening range of twelfth-stepping—from becoming active within one’s group to serving at the local intergroup or central office, on institutions committees, and finally in “general service.” This term embraces the myriad activities within the Conference structure that are carried out by G.S.R.s, area committees, delegates, trustees and the G.S.O. staff. They affect A.A. as a whole and are crucial to our unity and survival. Al points out that “a lot of A.A.s—not just newcomers, either—don’t know enough about A.A. and how it works.” He believes that “God smiled on us when he led us into the Fellowship. The hand of A.A. was there for us and if we want it to be there for your kids and mine, I think we need to be active ourselves in service and help the newcomer to do the same. Frankly, I don’t even know how to sponsor anyone who doesn’t get involved in service. I’m a great admirer of Dr. Bob, who said that if we fail to acquire a spirit of service, we will have missed the greatest gift A.A. has to offer—the ability to give our sobriety away and so keep it.” 

    Missouri delegate Rita J. says she sponsors new people into service early. “I introduce them to the Traditions,” she declares, “and take them to G.S.R. and state assembly meetings. A number of them get into service.” It’s not always easy, Rita admits, “but I just hang in. Of course, when I called for a group conscience meeting not long ago, hardly anyone I sponsored showed up. I couldn’t exist without a sense of humor!” 

    Past trustee David A., of Dallas, Texas, says that “everyone I’ve sponsored has gone into service. It’s not mandatory, I tell the newcomer, but it’s more than a suggestion. I also tell them that the Twelve Steps are just one-third of our legacy; there are the Twelve Traditions and Twelve Concepts of World Service. It’s a 36-point program.” He further suggests that they read the Big Book (“you’ll find yourself”) and A.A. Comes of Age (“you’ll love A.A. so much you won’t leave—you’ll want to stay and grow”). “I was brought to service by a former delegate who wanted to go to the Bill W. Dinner in 1967,” David relates. Bill himself autographed my copy of As Bill Sees It; I met people in service and went back and back and back. I was G.S.R., D.C.M., delegate, area chairperson, area GvR, you name it. I served as alternate in each of these offices, too, before becoming a trustee-at-large, U.S.A. And I’m even more active now than when I started. I attend the state conferences, do meetings on the Traditions and Concepts and, of course, try to get newcomers interested in service whenever I can.” 

    Past trustee Ruth H. Hollister, New York: “When I took the G.S.R. role, my sponsor said, ‘You don’t want that, it’s political.’ Nevertheless, I became active on the Southeast New York Conference Committee. The other officers took me under their wing and gave me an appreciation of service. Today, I do the same with those I sponsor—I try to make them aware of A.A. as a whole. Whenever I see members working the Steps and Traditions, I make every effort to interest them in service beyond the group. Service is integral to my recovery; without it, I doubt that I would have stayed sober these past 28 years. 

    Past trustee George D., Tiburon, California: “When I first came to A.A. I slipped a lot. After I finally stopped drinking, my sponsor and other old timers told me I was the kind of drunk who had to be active to stay sober. I took them at their word and have continued to do so for 26 years. Service is a part of me.” For the first 11 years, George remembers, “I was active in every aspect of service except general service, perceiving it to be full of basic service club types. My closest A.A. friend was active in general service and I just figured it was an eccentricity—otherwise he was a nice, cosmopolitan guy. Finally, he dragged me along with him and I eventually became a delegate in 1975. In a discussion with the late Bob H., who was retiring at the time as G.S.O. manager, I questioned my motives in doing service work—was it love of A.A. or a need for recognition and approval? Bob then quoted what Bernard Smith, a nonalcoholic trustee and former chairperson of the General Service Board, once said about Bill W.: ‘Never in history have so many great things been accomplished by a man with such doubtful motives.’ With Bob’s help I realized that if I waited to be ‘pure’ before getting anything done, I’d wait a lifetime.” George believes that general service may not be for everyone. “Instead of pushing people into it,” he suggests, “I think we should lead them by example. We need to treat each other in service with the same sensitivity we bring to recovery.” 

    Rev.5/28/02 Copyright AAWS 

    “Every sponsor is necessarily a leader. The stakes are huge. A human life, and usually the happiness of a whole family, hangs in the balance. What the sponsor does and says, how well he estimates the reactions of his prospects, how well he times and makes his presentation, how well he handles criticisms, and how well he leads his prospect on by personal spiritual example – well, these attributes of leadership can make all the difference, often the difference between life and death.” – Bill W.” 

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  • The “Musts” of the A.A. Big Book

    1. Convincing testimony MUST surely come from medical men who have had experience with the sufferings of our members and have witnessed our return to health. (xxiii)

    2. “Doctor, I cannot go on like this! I have everything to live for! I MUST stop, but I cannot! You MUST help me!” (xxvii)  

    3. Faced with this problem, if a doctor is honest with himself, he MUST sometimes feel his own inadequacy. (xxvii)

    4. Though the aggregate of recoveries resulting from psychiatric effort is considerable, we physicians MUST admit we have made little impression upon the problem as a whole. (xxvii)

    5. In the course of his third treatment he acquired certain ideas concerning a possible means of recovery. As part of his rehabilitation he (Bill W.) commenced to present his conceptions to other alcoholics, impressing upon them that they MUST do likewise with still others. This has become the basis of a rapidly growing fellowship of these men and their families. This man and over one hundred others appear to have recovered. (xxiii)

    6. In this statement he (Dr. Silkworth) confirms what we who have suffered alcoholic torture MUST believe that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind. (xxiv)

    7. More often than not, it is IMPERATIVE that a man’s brain be cleared before he is approached, as he has then a better chance of understanding and accepting what we have to offer. (xxiv)

    8. The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people MUST have depth and weight. In nearly all cases, their ideals MUST be grounded in a power greater than themselves if they are to re-create their lives. (xxvi)

    9. I SIMPLY HAD TO believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation (10)

    10. I MUST turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.(14)

    11. Particularly was it IMPERATIVE to work with others.(14)

    12. Of NECESSITY there will have to be discussion of matters medical, psychiatric, social, and religious.(19)

    13. Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, DEPEND upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. (19)

    14. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process REQUIRES for its successful consummation.(25)

    15. There was NOTHING LEFT FOR US but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our Feet. (25)

    16. It is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that they will be persuaded to say, “Yes, I am one of them too; I MUST have this thing.” (29)

    17. We learned that we had to FULLY CONCEDE to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, HAS TO BE smashed. (30)

    18. If we are planning to stop drinking, there MUST be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. (33)

    19. But after a while we had to face the fact that we MUST find a spiritual basis of Life – or else.(44)

    20. We HAD TO find a power by which we could live, and it HAD TO BE a Power greater than ourselves. (45)

    21. DO NOT let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. (47)

    22. Many of us have been so touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism. This sort of thinking HAD TO BE abandoned. (48)

    23. We HAD TO ask ourselves why we shouldn’t apply to our human problems this same readiness to change our point of view. (52)

    24. When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we HAD TO stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did. (52)

    25. When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we HAD TO fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn’t. (53)

    26. Sometimes we HAD TO search fearlessly, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us. (55)

    27. The first requirement is that we BE CONVINCED that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. (60)

    28. Above everything, we alcoholics MUST be rid of this selfishness. We MUST, or it kills us! (62)

    29. We HAD TO have God’s help.(62)

    30. First of all, we HAD TO quit playing God. (62)

    31. Our liquor was but a symptom. We HAD TO get down to causes and conditions. (64)

    32. If we were to live, we HAD TO be free of anger. (66)

    33. We saw that these resentments MUST be mastered. (66)

    34. Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we MUST be willing to grow toward it. We MUST be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing. (69)

    35. We MUST be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. (73)

    36. Those of us belonging to a religious denomination which requires confession MUST, and of course, will want to go to the properly appointed authority whose duty it is to receive it. (74)

    37. The rule is we MUST be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others. (74)

    38. It is important that he be able to keep a confidence; that he fully understand and approve what we are driving at; that he will not try to change our plan. But we MUST not use this as a mere excuse to postpone. (75)

    39. We have emphasized willingness as being INDISPENSABLE. (76)

    40. UNDER NO CONDITION do we criticize such a person or argue. (77)

    41. We MUST lose our fear of creditors no matter how far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them. (78)

    42. We may lose our position or reputation or face jail, but we are willing. We have to be. We MUST not shrink at anything. (79)

    43. Before taking drastic action which might implicate other people we secure their consent. If we have obtained permission, have consulted with others, asked God to help and the drastic step is indicated we MUST not shrink. (80)

    44. Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober. Certainly he MUST keep sober, for there will be no home if he doesn’t. But he is yet a long way from making good to the wife or parents whom for years he has so shockingly treated. (82)

    45. Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. We MUST take the lead. (83)

    46. The spiritual life is not a theory. WE HAVE TO LIVE IT. (83)

    47. We MUST remember that ten or twenty years of drunkenness would make a skeptic out of
    anyone. (83)

    48. Every day is a day when we MUST carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. (85)

    49. “How can I best serve Thee – Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which MUST go with us constantly. (85)

    50. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. To some extent we have become God-conscious. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense. But we MUST go further and that means more action. (85)

    51. But we MUST be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. (86)

    52. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends-this is an experience you MUST not miss. (89)

    53. The family MUST decide these things. (90)

    54. To be vital, faith MUST be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action. (93)

    55. NEVER talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. (95)

    56. If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. After doing that, he MUST decide for himself whether he wants to go on. (95)

    57. He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire MUST come from within. (95)

    58. NEVER avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them. (97)

    59. A kindly act once in a while isn’t enough. You HAVE TO act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. (97)

    60. Argument and fault-finding are to be avoided like the plague. In many homes this is a difficult thing to do, but it MUST be done if any results are to be expected. (98)

    61. But we MUST try to repair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty by a spree.(99)

    62. If their old relationship is to be resumed it MUST be on a better basis, since the former did not work. (99)

    63. Both you and the new man MUST walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress.(100)

    64. People have said we MUST not go where liquor is served; we MUST not have it in our homes; we MUST shun friends who drink; we MUST avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we MUST not go into bars; our friends MUST hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we MUSTn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so. (101)

    65. But some of us think we should not serve liquor to anyone. We NEVER argue this question. (102)

    66. We are careful NEVER to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. (103)

    67. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We HAVE TO! (103)

    68. Wait until repeated stumbling convinces him he MUST act, for the more you hurry him the longer his recovery may be delayed. (113)

    69. But sometimes you MUST start life anew. (114)

    70. While you need not discuss your husband at length, you can quietly let your friends know the nature of his illness. But you MUST be on guard not to embarrass or harm your husband. (115)

    71. You will no longer be self-conscious or feel that you MUST apologize as though your husband were a weak character. (115)

    72. These family dissensions are very dangerous, especially to your husband. Often you MUST carry the burden of avoiding them or keeping them under control. (117)

    73. NEVER forget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alcoholic. (117)

    74. Your husband knows he owes you more than sobriety. He wants to make good. Yet you MUST not expect too much. (118)

    75. Though it is infinitely better that he have no relapse at all, as has been true with many of our men, it is by no means a bad thing in some cases. Your husband will see at once that he MUST redouble his spiritual activities if he expects to survive.(120)

    76. We NEVER, NEVER try to arrange a man’s life so as to shield him from temptation; The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointments or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed. (120)

    77. The family MUST realize that dad, though marvelously improved, is still convalescing. They should be thankful he is sober and able to be of this world once more. (127)

    78. He can scarcely square the account in his lifetime. But he MUST see the danger of over-concentration on financial success. Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money first. For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded. (127)

    79. We know there are difficult wives and families, but the man who is getting over alcoholism MUST remember he did much to make them so. (127)

    80. We have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him, but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is where our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work MUST be done. These are the realities for us. We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness. (130)

    81. Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the alcoholic member has to if he would recover. The others MUST be convinced of his new status beyond the shadow of a doubt. Seeing is believing to most families who have lived with a drinker. (135)

    82. State that you know about his drinking, and that it MUST stop. You might say you appreciate his abilities, would like to keep him, but cannot if he continues to drink. (141)

    83. For most alcoholics who are drinking, or who are just getting over a spree, a certain amount of physical treatment is desirable, even IMPERATIVE. (142)

    84. Though you are providing him with the best possible medical attention, he should understand that he MUST undergo a change of heart. To get over drinking will REQUIRE a transformation of thought and attitude. We all HAD TO PLACE RECOVERY ABOVE EVERYTHING, for without recovery we would have lost both home and business. (143)

    85. While on the subject of confidence, can you adopt the attitude that so far as you are concerned this will be a STRICTLY personal matter, that his alcoholic derelictions, the treatment about to be undertaken, will NEVER be discussed without his consent? (143)

    86. When the man is presented with this volume it is best that no one tell him he must abide by its suggestions. The man MUST decide for himself. (144)

    87. An alcoholic who has recovered, but holds a relatively unimportant job, can talk to a man with a better position. Being on a radically different basis of life, he will NEVER take advantage of the situation.(146)

    88. For he knows he MUST be honest if he would live at all. (146)

    89. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. NEVER could we recapture the great moments of the past. (151)

    90. I know I MUST get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?” Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. 152)

    91. They will approach still other sick ones and fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous may spring up in each city and hamlet, havens for those who MUST find a way out. (153)

    92. But what about his responsibilities – his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah-yes, those other alcoholics? There MUST be many such in this town. He would phone a clergyman. His sanity returned and he thanked God. (154)

    93. He saw that he would HAVE TO face his problems squarely that God might give him mastery. (155)

    94. Both saw that they MUST keep spiritually active. (156)

    95. Though they knew they MUST help other alcoholics if they would remain sober, that motive became secondary. It was transcended by the happiness they found in giving themselves for others. (159)

    96. God will determine that, so you MUST remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave. (164)

    97. We alcoholics see that we MUST work together and hang together, else most of us will finally die alone. (563)

    98. A.A. MUST continue to live or most of us will surely die. (565)

    99. Yet it is true that our first printing gave many readers the impression that these personality changes, or religious experiences, MUST be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals. (569)

    100. Though it was not our intention to create such an impression, many alcoholics have nevertheless concluded that in order to recover they MUST acquire an immediate and overwhelming “God-consciousness” followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook. (569)

    101. I think our profession MUST take appreciative cognizance of this great therapeutic weapon. (571)

    102. Any therapeutic or philosophic procedure which can prove a recovery rate of 50% to 60% MUST merit our consideration. (571)

    103. They know that they MUST never drink. (572)

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  • Need Help With a Drinking Problem?

    Do you want to stop drinking, and find you cannot, or only for a short time?

    When drinking, do you have little or no control over the amount you take?

    We Understand.

    https://aa-intergroup.org/get-help-now

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  • Finding Strength in Togetherness at Providence Point

    Finding Strength in Togetherness at Providence Point

    Get to “The Point” of Recovery!

    Strongly unified, we at Providence Point are held together by adherence to our Primary Purpose to carry the A.A. Message to the alcoholic who still suffers. We hope you will join us as an additional resource for your recovery.

    zoom: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89110134788?pwd=tcmyc8sM8bvxiZckLRbvhVDZ7bmgVO.1 

    We meet twice daily at 2 PM and 11 PM EST following a rotating format:

    Monday: Big Book Study

    Tuesday: As Bill Sees It

    Wednesday: AA Grapevine

    Thursday: Daily Reflections

    Friday: 12 Steps x 12 Traditions

    Saturday/Sunday: Music and Sobriety

    Saturday Speakers: 1st Saturday of the Month at 2pm

    Attendance Verification available upon request.

    Join us for an hour in the “Parking Lot” for  Fellowship after each meeting. We hope to see you there! 

    AA Providence Point 

    891 1013 4788

    Passcode: Providence

    Online Intergroup Member

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  • “Practicing These Principles in all our affairs”

    “Practicing These Principles in all our affairs”

    The 12 Traditions of A.A. (Long Form)

    1. Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is but a small part of a great whole. A.A. must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence our common welfare comes first. But individual welfare follows close afterward.

    2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience.

    3. Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.

    4. With respect to its own affairs, each A.A. group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience. But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups also, those groups ought to be consulted. And no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect A.A. as a whole without conferring with the Trustees of the General Service Board. On such issues our common welfare is paramount.

    5. Each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity having but one primary purpose–that of carrying its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.

    6. Problems of money, property, and authority may easily divert us from our primary spiritual aim. We think, therefore, that any considerable property of genuine use to A.A. should be separately incorporated and managed, thus dividing the material from the spiritual. An A.A. group, as such, should never go into business. Secondary aids to A.A., such as clubs or hospitals which require much property or administration, ought to be incorporated and so set apart that, if necessary, they can be freely discarded by the groups. Hence such facilities ought not to use the A.A. name. Their management should be the sole responsibility of those people who financially support them. For clubs, A.A. managers are usually preferred. But hospitals, as well as other places of recuperation, ought to be well outside A.A.- and medically supervised. While an A.A. group may cooperate with anyone, such cooperation ought never go so far as affiliation or endorsement, actual or implied. An A.A. group can bind itself to no one.

    7. The A.A. groups themselves ought to be fully supported by the voluntary contributions of their own members. We think that each group should soon achieve this ideal; that any public solicitation of funds using the name of Alcoholics Anonymous is highly dangerous, whether by groups, clubs, hospitals, or other outside agencies; that acceptance of large gifts from any source, or of contributions carrying any obligation whatever, is unwise. Then too, we view with much concern those A.A. treasuries which continue, beyond prudent reserves, to accumulate funds for no stated A.A. purpose. Experience has often warned us that nothing can so surely destroy our spiritual heritage as futile disputes over property, money, and authority.

    8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever non-professional. We define professionalism as the occupation of counseling alcoholics for fees or hire. But we may employ alcoholics where they are going to perform those services for which we may otherwise have to engage nonalcoholics. Such special services may be well recompensed. But our usual A.A. “12th Step” work is never to be paid for.

    9. Each A.A. group needs the least possible organization. Rotating leadership is the best. The small group may elect its secretary, the large group its rotating committee, and the groups of a large metropolitan area their central or intergroup committee, which often employs a full-time secretary. The trustees of the General Service Board are, in effect, our A.A. General Service Committee. They are the custodians of our A.A. Tradition and the receivers of voluntary A.A. contributions by which we maintain our A.A. General Service Office at New York. They are authorized by the groups to handle our overall public relations and they guarantee the integrity of our principle newspaper, the A.A. Grapevine. All such representatives are to be guided in the spirit of service, for true leaders in A.A. are but trusted and experienced servants of the whole. They derive no real authority from their titles; they do not govern. Universal respect is the key to their usefulness.

    10. No A.A. group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate A.A., express any opinion on outside controversial issues–particularly those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion. The Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one. Concerning such matters they can express no views whatever.

    11. Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think A.A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast, filmed, or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.

    12. And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.

    HOW IT WORKS

    Original A.A. Manuscript

    Rarely have we see person fail who has thoroughly followed our directions. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a way of life which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

    Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it —then you are ready to follow directions.

    At some of these you may balk. You may think you can find an easier, softer way. We doubt if you can. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

    Remember that you are dealing with alcohol — cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for you. But there is One who has all power — That One is God. You must find Him now!

    Half measures will avail you nothing. You stand at the turning point. Throw yourself under His protection and care with complete abandon.

    Now we think you can take it! Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as your Program of Recovery:

    1.    Admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.

    2.    Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

    3.    Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care and direction of God as we understood Him.

    4.    Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

    5.    Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

    6.    Were entirely willing that God remove all these defects of character.

    7.    Humbly, on our knees, asked Him to remove our shortcomings — holding nothing back.

    8.    Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make complete amends to them all.

    9.    Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

    10.    Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

    11.    Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

    12.    Having had a spiritual experience as the result of this course of action, we tried to carry this message to others, especially alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

    You may exclaim, “What an order! I can’t go through with it. ” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

    Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after, have been designed to sell you three pertinent ideas:

    (a) That you are alcoholic and cannot manage your own life.

    (b) That probably no human power can relieve your alcoholism.

    (c ) That God can and will.

    If you are not convinced on these vital issues, you ought to re-read the book to this point or else throw it away!

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  • JJ’s Story of Recovery

    JJ’s Story of Recovery

    Hi I’m JJ and I am an alcoholic.

    My sobriety date is November 15 th, 2003. A true blessing I am forever grateful for.

    What it was like. What happened? What it is like now.

    Some of us grew up in homes with active alcoholics some did not. I am one that did. Growing up I really didn’t know that not everyone lived the way I did. My father taught me as a toddler how to push the chair to the fridge, so I could climb up and put a beer in the ice bucket and spin it to get it cold faster. He would reward me with little sips of said beer when I brought it to him. When he came home from work it was with a 6 pack for the ride and a 12 pack, sometimes a
    case, for the night. He was so much fun. My mom would be pissed because the drunker he got the more he riled up the kids. I thought it was great. That was until the weekends.
    On the weekends he would come to, hung over. That was not fun at all. He would yell at us for constantly going in and out the house, even when we had been gone for hours on end. Then he would yell because we made him hurt his head yelling. He was a war veteran, and I had been born the child to fix him. I was told that all the time. Anytime he did something a drunk would do I would be blamed as I had not done my job to fix him. I would get scared when he would have nightmares and wake up trying to shoot us with his fingers. My mom was smart enough not to allow guns in the house.

    Every Friday night from when I was a tot until I was a preteen my parents had friends over to play Rummy. I loved and hated those nights because I had to give up my bed for the younger kids of the friends to sleep. That meant I would either be made to sleep with an abuser or I could stay up if I sat in the kitchen corner and was invisible. Of course, I wanted to stay up late. I would only get up to fetch someone a beer. Of course, I knew that if I delivered them I would get a sip. I also knew that if I delivered enough the sips could get much bigger and the drunks would not
    really notice at all. I became the expert at drinking nearly a third of the beer every time I bought one to the table.

    I was around 6 when I discovered the real value in being nvisible. I had parents that really were not great at standing up for themselves or their kids. My dad was too drunk to see anything most of the time and my mom was an enabler and would do anything to never ruffle a single feather. So, on any occasion in which I saw my grandparents, on either side, I was treated differently. One side of the family (where my brother was the only boy) was under the belief that girls were to rarely be seen and certainly never heard. Boys on the other hand were expected to be noisy, and mischievous. My brother would pick on me, hit me, chastise the heck out of me etc. I would get in trouble if I complained or tried to defend myself at all. On the other side, (where I was the only girl) I was told from the time I knew the difference
    between a boy and a girl that I was nothing because I would never carry on the family name. It was driven home on every holiday as I watched all the male children in the family be lavished in gifts and attention, while I was placed in a corner and given some token type of gift.

    I had the whole invisibility thing well under wraps. It was almost second nature. What I felt, though, was completely unworthy of anything especially someone’s love and
    attention. Those beers I started drinking the tops of as a little kid grew to be the relief I needed. They made me feel good. By the time I was in junior high school I had found out that not everyone lived like I did. I, however, had found out how to spot someone who did from a mile away. I gravitated to those people. They might not have had the same worthless feelings but they had the same family dynamics in one way or another.

    I will never forget the first time I visited one of these friends when I was 12. Her parents asked if I wanted a drink when I walked in the door. I asked if they had a soda. They said if you want a drink here you can have a real drink. I’m not so sure what happened after that. I don’t think I even drank, I just don’t recall. I did however feel relieved and went to that friend’s house more than any other person’s house. I learned how to raid my family liquor stash not long after that time. They kept it all in a kitchen cabinet above the phone and desk. Since my mom never drank more than a simple pina colada on a very rare occasion she never
    bothered even looking in the cabinet. My dad could always be convinced that he must have drank more than he thought.

    I started high school just before my 14 th birthday. I was finding out more and more that I was not like other people. Not just your typical middle schooler or high schooler no one likes me type of stuff. I had some real-life troubles, from years of all types of abuse to not understanding why I never felt the same about the hot guys in school as all the other girls did. The drinking had only escalated and I found a group of kids, a few that lived on the same long
    road I did. They all brought booze to school in thermoses, and hid it to make it through the day.

    Just after my 15 th birthday I went on school winter break.
    I didn’t make it back to school for quite a while after winter break. I slit my wrist while drinking a bottle of Bacardi laying on my bedroom closet floor. That closet was the only place I felt safe. I was on the phone with a friend and they convinced me to talk to them. When I did they called
    their youth pastor and told him. He had the phone company do an emergency break on the line and the house phone rang even though I had it off the hook. My dad answered before I could manage to answer and hang up.
    He was livid and came and dragged me out of my room.
    The next day I was locked up in a mental hospital. I met a psychiatrist for less than 5 minutes who diagnosed me bipolar, later I was told that was a misdiagnosis. Turns out it really wasn’t, I just had more than one mental health issue. Lucky me. My family was told I would be there 6-9 months. Thank God my dad had crappy insurance I got out after 28 days.

    One thing that happened while there was that I went into some mild withdrawals.
    My brother also came to see me on his 21 st birthday so drunk they would not even let my family
    into the locked ward.
    It started them asking me more about alcohol and how much I drank etc.
    I ended up being moved to the chemical dependency group.
    I was taken to my first AA meetings while still in the hospital.
    I really just wanted to get the hell out of there.
    I was tired of being force feed psych drugs and filled up with Thorazine every time I spoke my
    peace.
    I learned again the value of being invisible. I was very thankful to get out of that place.
    However, when I got home things were different.
    The house was completely free of alcohol.
    My dad had done a sort of support program and stopped drinking.
    My mom banned the stuff from coming in the house at all.
    So, at 15 the one thing that had ever given me any form of relief was out of reach.
    I was not trusted at all. My folks had even gone so far as to lock up all the knives in the house
    and wouldn’t even let me cut my own meat at dinner.
    I “needed” to find a way to deal with life again.
    I will just say this much as it is a big part of my story.
    Just as I could easily find the other kids that had families like mine I could also find the dealers
    at the school.
    My drug of choice changed due to the fact that I couldn’t gain access to it as easily as I could
    the other stuff.
    That my parents had no idea about.
    I was either completely wasted on psych drugs that I was way over prescribed or stuff from the
    dealer.
    That lasted until my senior year of high school. By then I had completely gotten rid of the psych
    drugs and only used the others when “Needed”
    I convinced myself I was just fine since I could go without.
    Then my dealer got pinched and I learned just how badly I did need them.
    However, I came off of everything, not willingly just again due to lack of access.
    My senior year of high school, I was mostly sober and completely clean. It ended up being the
    best year of school for me.
    Imagine that I was clean and sober and had a great year.

    Should have told me something right there, it didn’t.
    The day after I graduated, I flew to Germany with a group of students on an exchange program.
    I was in a bar the first night.
    My drug of choice back in my hand like nothing had ever happened.
    I spent about a month there and I remember very little of the trip.
    I remember being so tanked one night I ended up on the bus hours away from where I was
    staying. Not speaking more than 10 words of the language.
    The bus driver kinder than I ever knew drove me back to the town I was staying in and dropped
    me off there.
    Still lost I wondered around till 2-3am until I wondered into the house.
    I remember my exchange partners boyfriend beating the snot out of her because she went to
    the USA and brought one back with her. He threatened to kill her and me.
    Perfect excuse to go out drinking and not really go ‘home’ for anything other than to crash.
    July 4 th , we went camping I remember promising not to drink.
    Only to run off less than 10 minutes later to hop a ride to the liquor store.
    I got kicked out the tent. No problem. I passed out.
    They found me in the woods with my face buried in dirt where I had shoved all the leaves etc.
    to the side and laid down.
    I was filthy but refused to acknowledge I was wasted. I threw up everywhere and blamed it on
    riding the merry go round.
    My exchange partner got me home and took me to someone’s house the next day.
    It was a 12 step call but I had no idea what the person was saying at all.
    I finished that trip in Berlin, pounding hurricane after hurricane in the Hard Rock Café there.
    I came home missing half the clothes I left with on that trip. No idea where they went.
    When I got home I had different color braids in my hair.
    Someone told me I got them on the black market in Berlin.
    No clue. But I did like them. Ended up with a couple of dreads afterwards.
    I also came home with a suitcase half full of booze. (prior to 911) so we just walked around
    customs instead of going through it.
    That didn’t hold me long as my intake had really grown.
    It was not long before I was back into withdrawals and trying to hunt that stuff down. I was still
    only 17. So, I couldn’t buy it myself.
    The little time I drank in my senior year some friends had taken me to some seedy joint down
    deep in the city.
    We had left some cash on the counter and walked out with a case of beer.
    I drove all over in the seediest parts of the city trying to find that place.
    Never did find it.
    I did however get a job.
    Met a guy who was quite a bit older than I was.
    I wanted him to get me booze. I needed him too.
    He was the only one old enough.
    He refused to even be seen outside of work with me until after I turned 18.
    Then I gave myself to him in return for booze.
    After that first time he just took what he wanted when he wanted it.

    I had to beg for booze and rarely got near enough to offset the need.
    I did however get something else. Pregnant.
    I had my daughter and managed to somehow get sober and stay that way after I found out I
    was pregnant.
    I went to college and graduated top in my program 3 rd in the school.
    When my daughter was almost 2 and I turned 21.
    Finally of legal age to buy my own booze.
    And Boy did I.
    You hear in the rooms that your disease is doing push-ups in the parking lot.
    I was in a seriously bad way extremely fast.
    I went from “celebrating” my birthday to being unable to come to and get up in the morning
    without a drink.
    To black out drinking every day, and not knowing where I left my toddler in less than 3 months.
    It scared the living hell outta me when I couldn’t remember where I left my kid.
    Long before that, the seed of AA had been planted in me.
    I came online, to a different room at the time, but I knew I needed help.
    I drank my way through meetings in the beginning.
    Having a roommate that was a great bartender didn’t really help.
    People in the rooms told me I needed to be willing to change everything.
    So, I broke the lease, went crawling back to mom and dad’s where I knew there was not going
    to be any booze, and stopped going to the same places I used to go.
    No more liquid lunches, no more hunting down the booze and cheerful greetings at the ABC
    stores.
    After a few months of constantly relapsing but still trying I did listen to the people in the AA
    room when they said get to a meeting in person.
    I did and spent the next 2 years relapsing over and over again.
    I was just not willing to listen or do any work.
    When I did it was half assed or just to the extent I could get away with.
    I did a 4 th step that barely even touched the surface.
    The 5 th step complete bull. I never went any further than that at all.
    I finally got a little time put together and decided that I needed to take my daughter out of
    state to get some medical help.
    More like Mom was pulling a geographical cure.
    I had met some people online in yet a different room and gotten close with a few.
    I ended up moving to Wisconsin.
    I actually went to meetings there. Only 2 a week in the tiny town I lived in.
    I went to one and then I went to Madison for the others.
    2 of the people I met online lived in the tiny town and helped me secure housing etc.
    I ended up in a relationship with one of them.
    Although we parted and went to different coasts because I couldn’t find work or child care for
    my kid so I could afford to go to work.
    A year later I had bought a house in the town I grew up in and my partner moved in with me.
    We were together living a sober life, or at least a dry drunk life.
    Things got bad and with no program at all to rely on I went out and drank again.

    I was looking for that old friend at the bottom of the glass to make it all better again.
    It didn’t, all I felt was the incomprehensible demoralization and despair the big book talks
    about.
    I knew I was going to drink there was no mental twist that convinced me it was ok.
    I knew going into that it was not going to work.
    I simply couldn’t help myself.
    I had no real defense against that drink.
    I didn’t say first drink because I only had one. That was all it took before I wanted to melt under
    the table and ooze myself out of the place.
    I came home to a partnership that was already on the outs and admitted I drank. I went straight
    to bed.
    It was not long at all before that relationship was over.
    I never drank again but I didn’t go back to AA right away. I stayed living in the dry drunk hell
    torturing myself because I felt like that was what I deserved.
    Talk about a serious case of self-centeredness and self-pity.
    When I finally thought I was going to drink again I got myself to another in person meeting.
    It had child care available so I could go.
    It was a 40 minute drive one way but I didn’t care.
    I would have gone much further and done much worse for a drink.
    When the meeting opened I introduced myself as an alcoholic and that it was my first time at
    that meeting.
    Then the person leading the meeting asked if anyone had anything they needed to talk about
    otherwise they had a topic.
    I was not so sure what came over me at the time but I spoke up and shared that I really wanted
    to drink.
    I left that meeting with a lot of phone numbers, an escort to my car, and a new since of hope
    versus dread.
    I went back again the next week, and the next.
    I stayed dry didn’t drink in between the meetings.
    I ended up going out to lunch with a group of the woman from the meeting.
    The same thing happened for a few weeks, before I told one of the women that I really wanted
    to ask another lady in the group to be my sponsor.
    She looked at me and said well you better hurry up and ask her before she gets to her car.
    I panicked and yelled out the lady’s name and went running to her. I blurted it out really fast.
    The lady said I will consider being your sponsor but I have rules, not suggestions I know you,
    and you have to be willing to follow them or I won’t sponsor you.
    I had thought she was going to be kind of a softy she was always nice.
    Yeah got that one wrong too. I however got that sponsor.
    I also followed her rules, call me every day, 90 meetings in 90 days, and no you cannot double
    up and take a day off, call at least 5 other people in the program every day, you can text if you
    want but it doesn’t count towards the calls.
    This woman had all my tricks figured out before I even knew them.
    We got to work on the steps and I really did them to the best of my ability.
    I stayed sober and really was sober not just a dry drunk.

    I started to get busy after a couple of years.
    I started to miss meetings and just eventually went to meetings on my side of town because I
    was too busy to get to the one way over on the other side of town.
    I stopped calling but managed a pretty decent meeting routine until I got a little too busy for
    that too.
    I found myself a dry miserable drunk again and I stayed that way for a long time.
    Until I found this an AA chat room and “walked” in the door.
    I was miserable, spiritually bankrupt, and on the verge of relapse.
    Since then I can say I am no longer a dry drunk.
    I have found another sponsor.
    She is a sweetheart but won’t sugar coat recovery.
    She tells it like it is rather I really want to hear it or not. I find I need that.
    I also need to trust which doesn’t come easy for me.
    I trust her today more than I think I have ever trusted anyone.
    I have worked the steps again directly from the Big Book.
    I think more thoroughly then I even knew I could, and still do.
    After being so close minded to the entire God concept, I finally got sick and tired of being
    miserable trying to rely on something I didn’t believe in.
    I made a decision.
    I told myself that if I wanted want people had, in terms of spirituality, I had to be open to listen
    and do what they did.
    So, I stopped walking out of the room every time the person who had what I so desperately
    wanted, yet refused to acknowledge to anyone other than myself, shared.
    I became open minded to the concept of God.
    After listening and trying to follow her lead for a bit. I finally broke down and asked this person
    to please help me get to know God.
    It took a lot of patience, tolerance, love, and work on her part and a lot of willingness and work
    on my part.
    Today she is my spiritual mentor, I am her disciple. Through the work we do together I found a
    true connection with God.
    That I had only faked or fumbled through before.
    That has been the greatest gift of recovery for me.
    There have been many many gifts in sobriety but finding God has allowed me to live a life I
    never would have even dreamed of.
    Without that I would not have even recognized all the other gifts.
    I have had many spiritual experiences throughout my time of sobriety both of the educational
    variety and the light bulb type moments.
    Today I have been blessed to live in a safe loving environment where my spiritual life is
    nurtured.
    Living life in God’s Will to the best of my ability, every day I am blessed to wake up, has given
    me such hope, peace, serenity, and love.
    I know today how blessed I am.
    Not perfect but blessed to be given the opportunity for yet another 24 hours.

    JJ

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